The Ugly Truth About Single Motherhood

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  • AmandaAnderson_1 reply This is a topic I jump into because people who say these things have very child like black and white thinking. It is hard to tell a person's true colors until responsibility in put on them like marriage and children. Some people like the idea of a family but when they get there they realize they are not fit or can't handle it. Today there is a more prominence or immature people creating families. Also what comes into a marriage are expectations that we all grew up with about marriage and family. These can get in the way of communication. Men and women can not be held responsible for not having the telepathy to see the "true colors" of the other person. It does happen. People are deluded especially today. This is a situation where both people are responsible yet society gets involved and makes presumptions not based in reality. People change. Pressure, time, stress, and responsibility make those changes. It can bring out the best or worst in us. I get into this topic because this bl...moreack and white thinking gets lumped on everyone who is a single mother despite how it came about. Single mothers are considered a societal cancer. Yet this is not the first in recorded history that there have been single mothers and fathers. Yet people talk and act like it. Which is just as ridiculous as some of these people perpetuating total victimhood. Is this personal? Yes it is. My children knew their father and went to his funeral. They are growing up without a dad and it's not like I can go to Dads R Us and pick up another one. When people, especially men, hear that I am a single mom I am shut out, ignored, and shut down as if I have the horror of the century. The proof is in the children. My house is clean, my kids are healthy, the bills are paid, and the kids are well behaved and doing exceptional in school. I don't have boys. But I have this extra contradictory pressure on me about how awful I am on top of all the other pressure telling me how awful I am for doing or not doing certain things. I'm not even on welfare but it doesn't matter because according to stats and society my children will become drop out pregnant losers. From what I have observed and experienced this is a very complicated topic with many moving parts that can not be explained or met with a blanket solution. The adults from the parents, to the families, to the community, to society are all apart of the makeup of how a person operates. Everyone needs mentors and role models. Everyone needs help. Everyone needs some positive influence in their life. Blaming 1 group doesn't cut it.
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