SEX IN CHILDREN'S LIVES

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  • [ – ] fancyfig reply some things are better left stigmatized. part of the appeal of pedophilia is that very innocence and naivety, children are easy to trick, manipulate, and lie to. you might of had a point if sex was just safe and fun and always worth agreeing to, but the reality is that stds and pregnancy are going to be significantly traumatic even if the sex part wasn't. but what might be a bigger issue is the relationship, teens already get screwed up by getting emotionally entangled with other teens, placing that entanglement on an authority figure brings in a power imbalance to the situation which can heighten the risk of abuse. and not all pedophiles are abusive or manipulative but tolerating the ones that aren't opens the floodgates to those that are.
    • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply thank you for your comment! πŸ’“ on stds and pregnancy: those are the problems of uneducated people with poor life choices. most often young /adults/. so, the earlier you start educating children on those subjects the better. sex is so stigmatized today, that parents chose to risk their child's health by avoiding the talk / telling that sex is evil, instead of telling the truth about what sex is, what stds are, how to avoid them etc. on "power imbalance": throughout history people in relationships always had age gaps. it has always been normal. most of the disney princesses are close to being 14 yo in the original fairytales. moreover, when you have at least one person who is mature enough to not make stupid decisions, you have a way bigger chance of maintaining a healthy relationship ^_^
      • [ – ] fancyfig parent reply it's just that "poor life choices" are what children and teens are all about even when they're educated. they don't make rational decisions, they make hormonally, emotionally, and socially motivated decisions. I can think of allot of historically common things, and the vast majority of them are bad.
        • attakamaki parent reply children don't care about sex anyway. and teens are mature enough for it at least because the nature says so) anyway, young adults are the most problematic when it comes to stds and unwanted pregnancies - the reason is not the age, but the knowledge. a lot of humans in their 20-30 have no idea what they are doing :(
  • [ – ] I3UTM reply One could also look at the involvement of religion now, instead of government, as the main culprit of repressing sex and as well as advocating the force of child marriages. See Sweden and the influx of the migrants there. Also, this book might go further in discussing why children should not be shielded from sex: Not in Front of the Children: 'Indecency,' Censorship, and the Innocence of Youth 2nd Edition by Marjorie Heins (Author) [Are we protesting children from sex or protecting us from how sex is viewed by children -- innocent?) <Followed/>
    • attakamaki parent reply thank you for the recommendation. definitely gonna have a look. have you read "Harmful to Minors" btw? i'm gonna film a review for it soon. great book!
  • [ – ] phook reply Your advice for the parents (towards the end of the vid) is good - in respect with responding to a child's confession. There is a tremendous power dynamic at play in these relationships. The fallout from which can be catastrophic for the child. This is why society condemns the paedophilic predator. Society places no shame on the child. Adults certainly have no business sexually playing with a child who hasn't hit puberty, and therefore, as you pointed out, has no sexual interest. No one, despite how they actually feel, should feel shame for having been taken advantage of. They should learn and move on. However, those who prey on young children are not doing it out of love, but for sexual gratification - they are objectifying the child for their own amusement. The softly-softly approach is utilised by the predator to ensure continued access to the child and to ensure they are not caught. They should be held to account for the potential harm they may've caused. There is no definitive...more prove that harm will certainly not be caused under particular conditions. Society has evolved to place a stigma on paedophilia for a reason. Different people respond differently to things. Laws are there to protect the lowest common denominator. The innocence of children should be protected, they should be exposed to more of the world gradually as they mature. Regardless of how many papers you find advocating that children may happily consent and not be traumatised, there will always be more showing the opposite. Parents/guardians should be teaching their children about sex, not a paedophile showing them.
    • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply thanks for leaving a reply! the research shows that >90% of sexual experiences between children and adults are not harmful to a kid at the time they happen. that's why these relationships can last so long. that's unfortunate. but the truth is, victims of that morally wrong behavior are afraid to speak up, because they don't associate with the image of a typical victim the society painted for us. i myself had the experience. and when i told my mother, she reacted very poorly. complete denial first, than an outrage. both reactions are awful. what else.. yeah, what can i say - rape is evil. rapists must be prosecuted regardless the age of their victim. pedophiles are sick people, who have an extremely tough live of struggle. (i'm gonna make a vid on this topic!) however, i'm not in any way a pedophile, and i can say that this public outrage is already affecting me and many others like me. that's not how i see an ideal society.
      • [ – ] phook parent reply Thank you for being so candid about your experiences. I'm just trying to distil things down in my mind, to ensure I completely understand you: The real crux of the issue that your making is that - society, by having such a large stigma attached to paedophilia, is inadvertently making children who have experienced paedophilia not feel comfortable in coming forward and talking about their experiences?
        • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply no problem. society makes it harder for people who experienced pedophilia to come out by repeating over and over, that sex is something evil. no, sex is pleasant - start explaining from there. that's how you don't make people to feel ashamed that they liked/didn't mind the experience.
          • [ – ] phook parent reply It's, I suppose, a nuanced topic with multiple angles and facets, and the videos of yours that I've watched are heavily focused specifically on children, rather than society's broader attitude to sex in general. I was forming the impression that you wanted to advocate for changing age of consent law. There was a lot of language in this video suggesting that it might be fine to 'do things' with a prepubescent child if they are not traumatised by it at the time. Then suggesting a pubescent child has the capacity to make informed decisions regarding the people they have intimate relations with. That's where my confusion has come from.. I'd suggest that most of the broader attitude to sex is heavily influenced by religion and Hollywood.
            • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply as a libertarian i don't have an answer what should we do with children. i guess, those are my thoughts, summarized: 1) sex isn't traumatic - rape is. 2) sex by nature is supposed to be a pleasant social interaction, portraying it as something else is misleading. 3) context is what can make it unpleasant. 4) if children don't find the experience traumatic, it's horrible to make them believe that it is later in life. 5) i don't believe in the age of consent. again, sex is not something that should make your life hell. 6) if someone doesn't consent, never mind the age - it's rape. 7) i don't want my children to experience pedophilia, that's why i'll do anything to prevent it, it's not that hard. that's just my preference though. some parents sell their children in to marriage and feel great about themselves. 8) banning stuff left and right is not a solution, it only makes everyone's lives worse. those who could by some loli hentai now can't do it. so the chance that they'll take their l...moreust to streets only rises. agh. sorry for mumbling
              • [ – ] phook parent reply So you're a libertarian fundamentalist - everyone for themselves? You do what you like to your kids as long as you're not hurting mine? Do you think if everyone lived like that there'd be a cohesive society? There still needs to be common ground - values, mores' etc..
                • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply it will be a world where societies with different morals/values compete with each other, so that people can choose what society they want to live in :)
                  • phook parent reply Haha. That kinda sounds a little like the world we live in? I'm sure you can find certain European country or two that have more relaxed attitudes towards sex? There's plenty of societies already that have different ideas about things..
              • [ – ] phook parent reply Yeah, I was wondering about the pros and cons of child sex bots (the adult dolls have been around for a while).. If it's genetic or whatever, and there's no conditioning available to change, then perhaps that might help with relief?
                • [ – ] phook parent reply Or it might intensify the fantasy and 'need', pushing them to the street..
                  • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply those who wants to take it to the street will do it anyway. and jerking off to anything shouldn't be a crime. the person can be shamed publicly or whatever, but crime? no
                    • [ – ] phook parent reply Haha. Public shaming for masturbation! I s'pose we could try spying on them through the window with a drone? ;)
                      • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply jerking off to child porn / manga) because otherwise, if there are no boundaries, everyone will be called a pedophile sooner or later. i mean poor sally mann! people refuse to distinguish cp from capturing/admiring a child's innocence. i would rather ban those people ^_^
                        • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply but i can't! i'm a libertarian. life is hard
                        • [ – ] phook parent reply It certainly needs to be simplified and standardised for the people trying to enforce the law. It's often very hard to distinguish, and when you're trawling through thousands of images (which the police often have to do), there really isn't time. It's almost solely due to the eye of the beholder; it's only certain types that find cp images sexually provocative, but they'd also find the 'artistic' images to be arousing - it's largely the innocence that's so appealing isn't it? There would always be the question lurking, 'did he do something to them after that photo was taken?'
                          • [ – ] attakamaki parent reply *still believes that there's no crime without a victim*
                            • phook parent reply Fair enough. I still believe that we can not know for certain that there is no victim. And, if there is, something needs to be done to protect said victim. The photo is evidence that something may be going on. By your rational, a paedophile couple that adopt a young prepubescent boy, love him, clothe him, feed him,, raise him, take many photos of him, drug him, whore him out to their friends around the world, and treat the boy in a loving manner so that he believes he is loved are fine upstanding members of society because the boy does not feel 'traumatised' at the time.
  • [ – ] AxxL_Afriku reply there aint any sex in my life because im ugly
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