“I’ll just kill this kid real quick.” Thus speaks Kyle, aloud, in this, easily the worst episodes in this or any video game-related webseries, hands down. This game puts a hapless subject in the role of the world’s most reckless EMT, tasked with whisking victims of impossible and ludicrous disasters to salvation under intense time limits, enjoying preternaturally vacant American city streets with only the occasional for-no-reason multi-vehicle mega wreck and your own ineptitude to stymie your progress. Oh, and apparently starting from Mission 2, a sinister red haze descends upon the city and civilization is subsumed into a kind of Stygian hellmouth. Whatever, you have work to do. Must get paid by the body. Impressively, this game prompts perhaps the internet’s most nuanced second amendment discussion, which is swiftly discarded in favor of an inane tête-à-tête vis-à-vis who on the show is the most illiterate. (It’s Kyle.)
Trouble Planet gets sosh:
Emergency Call Ambulance is a 1999 arcade game released by Sega. It is a single-player driving game, controlled via a steering wheel, gearshift, and gas and brake pedals.
In the game, the player takes the role of a Chicago paramedic and ambulance driver, trying to save several people and taking them to the nearby hospital. There are two modes of gameplay: automatic transmission and manual transmission. The first victim is a ten-year-old child named Jack. His family's station wagon was in a collision with a tanker truck. The second victim is a 35-year-old Chicago Police officer named Edward, who has been shot by a gang (who somewhat resemble Yakuza), with a rocket launcher. The third victim is a 23-year-old woman named Kate. The hotel she and her partner were staying at has caught fire, and she is pregnant. The final mission is to rescue Gregorio Tavaresky, the 48-year-old President of an unspecified country, whose airliner has crashed into Lake Michigan after being struck by lightning.
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