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Scroll down for lyrics...
☆ FEATURING ☆
The enchantingly hilarious Lorie Way.
★ Check out her comedy: www.youtube.com/LorieWay
★ And her IRL: www.youtube.com/Lorie
★ She is also on twitter @LorieWay - go tell her that she's amazing.
Or even better tell her that I'm amazing.
☆ SOCIAL SUCH THINGS ☆
★ Twitter: @WillCarne
★ Instagram: @itsWillCarne
★ Facebook: www.facebook.com/itsWillCarne
★ Snapchat: willsiebob
☆ CHANNELS ☆
★ Main: http://www.youtube.com/Carne
★ Second: http://www.youtube.com/WillCarne
★ Gaming: http://www.youtube.com/WillCarneGames
☆ MUSIC ☆
► 'The Roast of Will Carne' - Will Carne (feat. Lorie Way)
☆ LYRICS ☆
Hello 2017, I hope it’s okay,
If I delay, stray back to 2016 right away,
As I throw you like a javelin, back on the shelf,
As I pretend to be Hamilton, roasting myself.
With brutality, I’ll become the casualty,
'Cas here’s a rap you see, say goodbye originality,
Them viewers want steak, well here’s a salad,
Looking for the success of Will Carne’s ballad.
Will Carne, what a great name,
Sounding like Spanish meat is your one claim to fame
You’re kinda lame, with one fan, did you bribe her?
Remind me, is she your only loyal subscriber?
Acne-covered, pink haired, all round fool,
Acting like you're better than us, too cool for school,
Which reminds me, you did say one thing kind-of comic,
When you dropped out from the London School of Economics.
Dropped out? Jumped ship? Ran away? Bailed?
Or was it cause secretly you kinda FAILED.
Oh on failure let’s talk series
Here I have a number of theories,
Clearly, deary, your writing’s kind of dreary,
Hence the views on Parodying YouTube were teary.
Awful analytics that left me shook,
And to be specific, you copied Ben Cook.
You’re a crook, your parodies were out of sync,
Wait is that why you went and died your hair pink?
RED, sorry, RED, I’d sue your supplier,
One things for sure you’re a failed MARKIPLIER,
I admire, and aspire to admit you’re a trier,
Though your efforts are increasingly dire,
OH, that was good, a video a day.
(Daily videos in December, that’s a bit cliche!)
Horray, it’s a Will Carne excuse for an advent,
Or an amusing abuse of the phrase #content.
12 collabs, 12 creators, you dared and declared it,
Though barely any of them liked it enough to share it.
Now let’s step it up a notch, go more risqué,
Prepare for a REMIX, it’s LORIE WAY.
Will Carne, let me just refute and dispute,
The idea that you’re a small-tubing institute,
Though you did appear briefly on the SITC panel,
Nobody thought it worthwhile to look up your channel.
Featured by TenEighty, only with some shade,
Nominated by TheUnicorns, then played and betrayed
It’s a shame, some said you had potential,
But consistency and good looks are really essential
When I started ten years ago, it was just a bit of fun.
I find it frankly appalling,
That with every upload, you’re sub count is falling.
And it leaves me bawling,
I kneel on the floor and just start crawling.
Am I repairable, am I even bearable?
Is there another tuber I'm even comparable?
Yet here I stand, alone on stage,
Will I just age, a faded channel page,
Become an old meme like Nicholas Cage.
Or will I give in to my vanity,
Plead social media insanity,
Keep ripping off Cards Against Humanity,
Break guidelines by using some profanity.
I’m a movie-maker wannabe like Bertie,
Hazel Hayes but a little less dark and a lot more flirty.
If YouTube’s crumbling, I’m stumbling and tumbling,
And mumbling to fine bruh,
Cas’ I ain’t a vine star,
Resign? Na, I’ll chuck out merch like a frisbee,
If nobody buys it i’ll grin and bear like a grizzly,
So watch this space, cas’ I’m going for Disney.